Discussion:
Ok, so I'm a loser
(too old to reply)
7 Habits Of Highly Effective Penii
2004-10-17 00:03:51 UTC
Permalink
But at least they created a loser category for me:

http://www.cab.latech.edu/public/entrepreneurship/topdawg/
--
http://BeDoper.com - BeOS and a hell of a lot more

Gortician's Not Dead, Punk
http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=15537

Gortician - "Purple Haze" cover
http://www.audiostreet.net/artists/000/640/gortician.html
7 Habits Of Highly Effective Penii
2004-10-17 00:12:44 UTC
Permalink
This failed to win the 'heart and mind' of Suzie Flame, much less any prize
money. Of course, the people that won didn't even have viable products...

nCard (already trademarked by the University of Nebraska) - A single point
of failure for credit card fraud. Already rejected by consumers as a free
service called Passport from a little company called...Microsoft. Do people
really have so many credit cards, they need a fee-based service to manage
them?

Navwear - Ooooh, a jacket that tells me where compass north is? Where do I
send my $150?











Honorable Mention: Crash and Burn- Executive Summary

Working under the tentative title Crash & Burn, we have assembled a team of
engineers from the golden age of video games to launch a new platform of
commercial emulation software for the Sony Playstation 2, Nintendo
Gamecube, Microsoft X Box, and Windows-based PCs.

Our goal is to develop the finest gaming experience we can offer fans of
video games of all ages. From replicating the experience of arcade gaming
to preserving the game library of enthusiasts, our top priority is the
creation of a platform for the enjoyment of new and classic arcade games,
as well as classic console titles from previously popular game systems.

Operating on roughly $350,000 in ‘sweat equity’, our engineering team has
coordinated the design of a multi-platform software title, and a software
delivery system for game sales via broadband connection. In addition to
this new direction for console gaming, we have developed two complete video
game systems for further exploration. Each of these products may be
manufactured and distributed by the company, or released by an existing
software publishing house.

Our first planned software title, intended for all three major console
platforms as well as the PC, allows users to purchase classic arcade games
such as ‘Donkey Kong’ or ‘Pacman’, console hits such as ‘Sonic The
Hedgehog’, and even modern arcade games, via an Ethernet connection, now
optional on all three game platforms. Licenses to more than 5000 video game
titles are available from copyright owners. These ROMs (Read Only Memory
images) are currently heavily pirated, providing no revenue to the industry
at large.

As the U.S. video game market reaches 50 million modern consoles in use,
the potential for a successful family of emulator software is ever-
increasing. Metered, pay-to-play and direct ROM sales are market trends on
the increase. By licensing the ROMs we sell from arcade and console game
manufacturers, we are assured a growing software library without expensive
software development.

A single code base will allow this company to release any number of game
collections for the four largest platforms for video games. Once developed,
new collections of ROMs can be released with little to no additional
development costs, or sold via broadband connection.

Our secondary project is a portable emulator system designed to replicate
the arcade experience with a large, rotatable monitor. This off-the-shelf
hardware design will provide a standalone platform for ROM sales, to be
released when production costs reach levels that make such a system
profitable.

In addition, we have in development an advanced augmented reality gaming
unit which represents the future of video gaming. It is our intention to
finalize the hardware and develop a software Application Programming
Interface for this entirely new approach to video games, the immersive
blending of the real and digital worlds. This advanced research has also
led to a consumer electronics product that turns any wall into a giant
video display.

Video game platforms, and often video game companies, have unacknowledged
shelf-lives. At Crash & Burn, we recognize the volatility of the video game
market. We intend to have an impact, grow our sales to a profitable state,
and exit by selling a fully-developed software and hardware company,
sustainable for the long-term.

We possess a lucrative business model, patentable hardware and software
designs, and a uniquely qualified board of directors. It is our hope to
encounter adventurous investors with the savvy to bring a profitable
venture to fruition, capitalizing on the vast video game market in the U.S.


------


I think I am passing on my BP to Frank Liebly of Starroms.com. Maybe he can
massage it into something usable.
--
http://BeDoper.com - BeOS and a hell of a lot more

Gortician's Not Dead, Punk
http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=15537

Gortician - "Purple Haze" cover
http://www.audiostreet.net/artists/000/640/gortician.html
7 Habits Of Highly Effective Penii
2004-10-17 00:35:53 UTC
Permalink
http://www.mindspring.com/~lordvic/uhr/uhr065.htm

Three tracks from the long unheard from GORTICIAN, and a whole slew from
BLACK MOON RISING. The good news for you GORTICIAN fans is that one of the
tracks is actually three songs from a KCUF radio appearance. I'd call it
grinding death metal, but Jason Gortician got really pissed at me once for
using the term "grind," even though grindcore has nothing to do with it.
Besides the three originals, GORTICIAN also throw in Hendrix and METALLICA
covers. BLACK MOON RISING gives us a couple of version of "Blitzkrieg Bop," a
Ted Nugent cover, as well as some original tracks, all done of course in the
drunk punk that is BMR. Double Penetration is completely loud and rude, but
just what I've come to expect from the Unsung Heroes label.

taken from Metal Nightmare Webzine #15, written by Tom Wren

http://www.geocities.com/metalnightmarezine/
--
http://BeDoper.com - BeOS and a hell of a lot more

Gortician's Not Dead, Punk
http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=15537

Gortician - "Purple Haze" cover
http://www.audiostreet.net/artists/000/640/gortician.html
7 Habits Of Highly Effective Penii
2004-10-17 00:54:20 UTC
Permalink
http://www.mindspring.com/~lordvic/uhr/uhr036.htm

Hot on the heels of 1999's Fucked demo, Festering Sore has unleashed a true
beast of a debut full-length. I mean, fucking beast - this bitch is over
seventy minutes if pure deathly thrash metal. It's kind of hard to pin a
description on Festering Sore that fits. There are elements of thrash and
death metal with vocals that straddle the line between gruff thrash
emissions and mid-range death growl. However, it sounds like Lance Boyle is
holding back on his vocals; personally, I think all-out aggressive
screaming would fit this music very well.

Musically, this is quite competent as the guys in Festering Sore have been
going at it in various different bands for at least ten years. I tend to
favor the faster songs, such as "Satanic Priest" and "Barking
Dogs/Dogcatcher", though the true gem of the album is "Fuck a Dead Body",
reprised from the aforementioned demo. For all you hardcore undergrounders,
there's an excellent cover of Gortician's "Orgy With The Dead" (fuck you,
Bob Arctor!) and a faithful revision of Venom's "Don't Burn the Witch". In
total, there are seventeen tracks, so you'll definitely get your money's
worth with this CD. It's only six damn dollars!

written by goden for Eternal Frost

"Chlorine For The Gene Pool" (great title) is 72 minutes of disgustingly
cool garage splatter-gore, courtesy of UHR's retaliatory response to those
supergroups like Brujeria - FESTERING SORE.

Murderous weedfiends Uncle Fester (sledgehammer drums), Ivan Kutchakockov
(geddit?...Chainsaw Guitar Wanking) and Lance Boyle (heheh... Meatcleaver
Bass and Machette VoKILLS) have slain the sacrificial hamster and recorded
17 tracks in tribute to that seemingly long-dead concept - the party/garage
death/thrash band. You know what I'm talking about - packing the pipes,
stuffing the fridge full of the amber brew, plugging in the amps and
bashing out some fucken METAL. Everyone knows rehearsals are for poofs.
Same goes for soundchecks...and production.

Sound-wise, this is pretty raw stuff. Twanging bass lines, reminiscent of
those found on Bathory's much maligned "Requiem" album, coupled with some
very familiar vocals and guitar sounds (*wink*), and some solid, in-your-
face tub thumping, courtesy of resident crack addict, Uncle Fester. Aside
from the rockin' tribute to Ash & his life-impared buds ("Evil Dead"),
there's also covers of Venom's "Don't Burn The Witch", and Gortician's
"Orgy With The Dead". Jason Gortician will probably try to poison me for
saying this, but the Festering Sore cover is even better than the original
;)

(Oh yeah...I'd normally say something about the *incredibly* apt cover art,
but I'm afraid someone will recognise where that photo was taken.)

All in all, this is fucking cool stuff. If it doesn't get your head at
least nodding along, you probably have no neck, and should probably seek
medical advice...then kill yourself, just for fun.

written by Brett for Usenet (alt.rock-n-roll.metal.death).

Jason Gortician of GORTICIAN told me that this is his favorite album of all
time. Well, that's good for him. Personally, I wasn't too into it. Hellish
garage grind for those of you who like that kind of thing.

After suffering much abuse at the hands of one Jason Gortician on Usenet, I
broke down and re-did this review. Ok, it's not GRIND, I take that back.
But FESTERING SORE is still one of those bands that is pretty much
condemned to being stars in their own garage. You know, the kind that
possibly opens up for a major act but ends up being shouted down and then
having beer thrown at them. Waste of good beer. Anyway, the guitarist is
pretty decent, too bad the bass sound sucks, and they're all being wasted
playing this kind of sloppy thrash. I'd bet most of the people who frequent
the Unholy Metal Chatroom on AOL would enjoy this disc, as they've all got
really bad taste. Worse than mine! So let's see... there's more songs than
I can count here (us college edumacated guys just never learnt our
numbers). If the damn bass was toned down some (fucking rubber band!) the
music might be almost decent. There's a slight FROST influence at times,
but it goes more than it comes. And the vocals! Ughh!! Man this guy sounds
familiar. I wonder if it's... nah, couldn't be. Truth be told, there's bad
metal that becomes cult, and there's bad metal that's just bad metal. Guess
which one this falls under?

written by Tom Wren for Metal Nightmare #8

The 80s thrash metal movement brought about a lot of very primitive,
rudimentary bands plying metal wares in a nearly punk fashion. Bands such
as Sodom, Venom, Possessed, Hellhammer and many others were by no means
virtuosos yet they still fashioned a sound that has influenced countless
bands and created an entire legion of bands who still wish to play raw,
ugly hard music. Festering Sore, one of the DIY style bands on Unsung
Heroes Records, is one such band. As the name suggests, they aren't exactly
pretty, nor will they appeal to anyone but the most fervent fans of Venom
or Possessed styled thrash. And even then it's going to be a stretch to see
if any of those hardcore miscreants can sit through the entire seventy two
minute opus of Chlorine in the Gene Pool.

The major problem with Festering Sore is that you have heard their entire
musical palette of colors on the very first track and the remaining bulk of
the album is essentially the same song written with different lyrics, most
of which are entirely based on horror movie worship, shock-shlock diatribes
concerning sexual relations with the deceased, goofy faux Satanic praises
and otherwise tongue-in-cheek deliberately offensive rantings. Musically
this band has one idea to work with and the result is a very tedious,
monotonous affair that doesn't particularly go anywhere. Moreover, unlike
their 80s thrash heroes, their sound isn't endearing in its stripped down,
grotesque state. Lance Boyle has exactly one note to his rasp and come on,
there are seven other notes to choose from. A second note would add wonders
to his singing. The music itself is mid to fast paced trashy thrash, with a
drummer who sounds like a machine and dirty, fuzzy guitar playing. Nothing
to which one might raise a flag and salute. At the end of the day, the
goofy lyrics are just that, goofy and the music is drab. I haven't a
problem with people saluting the ugly, influential music of the 80s, but I
can't find myself ever wishing to inflict this particular form of worship
on myself again. Yet one can imagine the most ardent believers that metal
should be fast, hideous and over the top may still want to pick at
Festering Sore a bit deeper.

written by John Chedsey for Satan Stole My Teddybear.

When first glancing at the song titles, I assumed that this would be
goregrind, or some variation thereof, but this band harks back to the
primordial ooze from whence extreme metal sprang - we're talking about
total Venom and Sodom worship. Carpetburn riffs grate your brain like a
mixture of fermenting cheese and bloody knuckles run through a rusty
grater, while the vocalist's abrasive yet intelligible tone has that same
sandpapery snarl as Chronos. Even the production has that brutally raw
feel, with the bass guitar pumping along at an audible level while the
unrefined guitars hammer out the roughedged riffs and engage in some ear-
bleeding peelouts, a.k.a. solos. And is that some classic Slaughter
(Surrender or Die!!) that I hear on "Human Cattle"?!? One thing that I
really enjoyed about this release was that it manages to not only recapture
the controlled chaos of early Venom, but also to recall how twistedly funny
and perverse was this radical reaction to mainstream hard rock.

taken from Chaotic Critiques, written by Tate Bengtson.

----







But don't tell anyone, it's an utter secret.
--
http://BeDoper.com - BeOS and a hell of a lot more

Gortician's Not Dead, Punk
http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=15537

Gortician - "Purple Haze" cover
http://www.audiostreet.net/artists/000/640/gortician.html
7 Habits Of Highly Effective Penii
2004-10-17 00:57:35 UTC
Permalink
but my Jason Gortician persona is a complete and utter fucking pig.

http://www.mindspring.com/~lordvic/uhr/uhr041.htm
--
http://BeDoper.com - BeOS and a hell of a lot more

Gortician's Not Dead, Punk
http://www.metal-archives.com/release.php?id=15537

Gortician - "Purple Haze" cover
http://www.audiostreet.net/artists/000/640/gortician.html
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